How To Deal
With the Arrogant
Arrogant
people are really exhibiting a protective barrier to hide their insecurity.
Arrogance can manifest in different ways. Sometimes, the person will attempt to
be witty, rather than address the issue at hand. Other times, the person might
resort to pretense in various forms; such as using jargon that belongs in
academia or to some particular profession rather than generic words that are
used in every day speech. Some resort to expressing the opinions of other
people about the text, and like to impress by citing other authors they have
read. They are like economists who discuss the views of other economists but
could not run a business if their lives depended on it.[i]
The best
way to deal with individuals inclined towards projecting unwarranted personas
of self-importance is to ask the individuals to share what the scripture means
to them and how they feel they could apply this in their own lives. When doing
this, it is best for us as leaders to acknowledge that the person has the
ability to express the views of others, or the capacity to speak in a foreign
language, but the other members of the group, including ourselves, would really
like to understand what is meant and not misinterpret what is being said.
People, who
suffer insecurity, need to feel that they will not be considered inferior to
other members of the group if their insecurity is exposed. While this can be for
different reasons, many insecure people attempt to mask their insecurity with
an extensive vocabulary. In some respects they are like the alcoholic, who has
learned how to mask his dependency on alcohol. Other people are very reluctant
(or even refuse) to share because they feel they do not have the knowledge, and
if they say something, they will be ridiculed. These individuals can become
very arrogant as well by trying to suggest they do not really have to share in
a group Bible Study such as The Milk of the Word, in that it is beneath
them because it is too simple.
However, the wonderful truth about Jesus is
that even though He was God, He emptied Himself and took on the form of a
servant in the likeness of a man. This was to identify with us and also to
rescue us. If we are to complete the works of Jesus we need to do likewise. We
need to be servants. In being a servant we seek to encourage people to share
what is on their hearts, listen to them, and make them feel they are
appreciated within a safe environment where they are not going to be judged and
ridiculed. This is why a group Bible Study discussing The Milk of the Word
is not so much about gaining knowledge for the sake of knowledge, but
understanding what is sin and what is sin’s hold over us, and how we can
overcome it. Hence, rather than seeking the opinions of participants, the
leader of the study asks the participants such questions as: What does this
mean to you? What does this mean for you
in your life? How do you feel about this? Or, How do you feel we could apply
this in our lives?
The key to
successfully helping people overcome their insecurities is for the leader of
the group Bible Study to understand that this is a devotional study about sin
and each one’s relationship with God and their fellows. Opinions and dogmatic
doctrine are avoided by concentrating on the relational issues and the purpose
of life. Moreover, when asking open questions about purpose, meaning and
feeling, people find it easier to overcome the barriers they have created to
protect their inner feelings of insecurity.
A wise
leader always uses open questions which are framed along the lines of: What do
you think the purpose of this scripture is? What is the meaning of this for
you? How do you feel about this scripture?
Acknowledgement
by the leader of what each person has said through a quick summarization of the
key point, or how the person feels about an issue, helps the person who has just
spoken understand they are appreciated and accepted as a valuable contributor
to the health of the group Bible Study. This way arrogant tendencies are
circumnavigated and members begin to share from their hearts on a personal and
devotional level, which permits the Holy Spirit to move freely.
Along with
arrogance, egoism is another tendency that surfaces frequently. This is to be
viewed as good; so rather than clamping down on the person exhibiting egoistic
tendencies, these need to be overlooked, because the Lord will deal with the
individual as each issue is discussed. Some people have larger egos than
others. Nevertheless, they need to come down to Earth so they can be buried
with Jesus, if they are to be raised up by the power of the Holy Spirit in the
body of Christ. It is worth remembering, traits that flow from the pride of
life are the deadliest of all sins; for it is a truism that haughtiness comes
before a fall, and pride before destruction. For only the dead in Christ are
raised to eternal life. Nevertheless, the leader of the Bible Study has to be a
servant and seek the Holy Spirit’s guidance at all times, so specks are taken
out of participants’ eyes rather than creating issues because log-heads clash together.
When the
wind challenged the sun to see who was the most influential, the two of them
decided to see who could influence people to remove their coats the fastest on
an overcast winter’s day.
The wind
spent the morning blowing as hard as he could. The more he blew, the stronger
the gale he created, but the more determined people became to keep their coats
on. Exhausted he gave the sun a turn.
In the
afternoon, the sun beamed down on the clouds and once there was an opening,
people began feeling his gentle rays quickly warming them up; within minutes
they were only too willing to take their coats off.
Likewise,
a gentle tongue avoids wrath and a timely answer is like sweet water to one who
is thirsty.
It is an
irony that while some people are full of themselves and think they are more
important than others, there are others who feel downtrodden, but given half a
chance, they too will be like a balloon that is about to burst, since they also
will become full of themselves. Yet this process of manifesting the old nature and
bringing our ugliness (that which secretly brings shame) to the surface is what
God uses to transform us from the old nature into newness of life.
The
cathartic and transformational experience of confronting our shortcomings and
recognizing our weaknesses, and allowing God to purge them from us, produces a
new creation that is being transformed from one degree of glory to another, if
we have truly been circumcised of heart.
A
successful group Bible Study is more effective than many sessions with a
counselor, because the Holy Spirit is moving among the participants. The
members are coming to share the Word of God and feast on the truth.
Consequently, that which is unwarranted has no right to be, and the arrogance
of the arrogant is dealt with ever so effectively. For humility goes before
honor, and when the arrogant see how gracious people can be, they start to
realize that there is a better way than make believe.
[i] Such a claim is not as ludicrous as it may sound. One
Australian politician, who had studied economics and business at university,
was given a national business portfolio and, on his watch, suffered the
ignominy of overseeing a lunch shop that he owned inauspiciously plunge into
bankruptcy and augur the demise of his political fortunes, which sunk in a
matter of a few short days after his shame had been made public.
No comments:
Post a Comment